The Comfort of a Plan: Navigating Healthcare Decisions for Your Loved One

Why Healthcare Decisions Become More Complex Over Time

As our loved ones age, medical conditions can change quickly. Decisions about medical treatment, medications, hospital stays, or even life-sustaining treatment might need to be made on short notice. Without clear guidance in place, families are left trying to interpret what their loved one “would have wanted,” and that uncertainty can cause unintentional conflict, even in the most loving households.

When to Start Planning for Medical Decisions

The best time to talk about healthcare planning is long before it’s needed. These aren’t just decisions for those in declining health; they’re conversations that give your loved one the opportunity to share their values, beliefs, and hopes while they’re still able to do so.

Planning early not only preserves your loved one’s voice in their care, it also gives family members the clarity they need to confidently advocate when the time comes.

Who Makes Medical Decisions If a Person Can’t?

In many cases, if someone is unable to make decisions, their spouse or closest relative becomes their surrogate decision maker by default. But depending on state laws, this default process can be inconsistent, or worse, disputed by other family members. That’s why establishing a health care proxy or healthcare agent in writing is so important. Without these legal designations, medical teams may need to delay treatment or even petition the court to appoint a guardian, which can be a costly and time-consuming process during a moment that calls for urgency and compassion.

Key Documents That Support Clear Medical Decisions

When we talk with families at Oaks, we often refer to advance care planning as “gathering the paperwork of peace.” These documents ensure your loved one’s voice is present at the table, even when they can’t speak for themselves.

An advance directive is a broad term that refers to any legally binding document that states your loved one’s preferences about medical care. This typically includes a living will, which outlines what types of treatment decisions they want or don’t want in specific situations, such as resuscitation or mechanical ventilation.

It also includes a healthcare power of attorney, sometimes called a medical POA or health care proxy, which names someone to make decisions on their behalf.

While each state may have slight variations, most recognize these two as essential tools in honoring someone’s end-of-life wishes.

Living Will vs. Advance Directive: What’s the Difference?

These terms are often used interchangeably, but they’re not quite the same. A living will is a type of advance directive, focused specifically on a person’s choices around life-sustaining treatment and end-of-life care. An advance directive can also appoint a healthcare agent and may cover broader preferences, including spiritual beliefs, preferred care settings (like home vs. hospital), and organ donation wishes. Together, they create a strong, clear foundation for honoring your loved one’s healthcare values.

Choosing the Right Person to Act on Their Behalf

Appointing someone to act as a healthcare agent is one of the most important decisions your loved one can make. This person will be asked to interpret preferences, speak with doctors, and make tough calls, sometimes in emotionally charged moments. They don’t need a medical background, but they do need to be dependable, level-headed, and able to prioritize the values of the person they’re advocating for, especially when those values differ from their own.

We often recommend families talk openly about who is best suited for this role. Sometimes the clear choice is not the most obvious one. Often, the role should fall to the one with a calm, clear voice during times of stress, not just the closest relation.

Having the Conversation: How to Talk About Healthcare Choices

These conversations aren’t always easy, but they are meaningful. If your loved one resists, remind them this isn’t about giving up control, it’s about keeping it. Start with gentle questions like “what matters most to you if you were ever in the hospital?” And,“would you want everything done, no matter what, or would you rather focus on comfort?” By asking about values before scenarios, you invite deeper understanding. It’s about dignity, independence, faith, and relationships.

Avoiding Family Conflict Through Communication and Clarity

Family disagreements about care often stem from confusion, not cruelty. Siblings may each believe they’re honoring their parent’s wishes, even while proposing opposite plans. Documentation matters, but so does communication. When possible, encourage your loved one to share their decisions with the whole family. You might even hold a family meeting to talk through what’s in place and who is named on each document. This transparency builds trust and reduces the chance of painful surprises later on.

How Senior Living Communities Support These Decisions

Our team partners with families to respect and follow each resident’s documented wishes. Whether your loved one is in assisted living or another level of care, we prioritize person-directed care, which means honoring the individual’s values in both everyday routines and urgent decisions. Our team is also trained to recognize when it’s time to revisit plans, and we gently guide families through updates as health conditions evolve.

What Families Often Overlook in Planning

Sometimes, families complete all the right documents but forget to share them. If paperwork is sitting in a drawer at home while your loved one is in a hospital or community setting, their care preferences may go unnoticed. Ensure copies are shared with your loved one’s doctors, senior living community, and key family members. Review the documents every couple of years, or anytime there’s a change in health, relationships, or care setting.

A Plan Is a Gift to the People You Love

At its heart, navigating healthcare decisions isn’t about control. It’s about comfort. It’s about making sure your loved one’s voice is heard, and that when the time comes, no one is left wondering what to do. By talking now, planning early, and putting your decisions in writing, you give your family the gift of clarity, compassion, and confidence.

Why Families Turn to Oaks Senior Living

For 27 years, families have trusted Oaks Senior Living to care for their loved ones with integrity, respect, and warmth. Our approach is centered on personal choice, meaningful relationships, and understanding what makes each person unique.

Our Designated Care Partners form long-term, trust-based relationships with residents, while our multigenerational programming keeps connections strong across all ages. And because we believe in more than just physical care, we honor the emotional and spiritual needs that shape every person’s quality of life.

Disclaimer: This article is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical, legal, or financial advice. Please consult with the appropriate professionals regarding your situation.